Holding On, Letting Go

Hey there! It's been a little while, eh? Things have been busily rolling along in the Monkey House. I  finally opened up my Etsy Shop. You can visit me there sometime. Buy all the stuffs!

So, this morning my biggest girl and her daddy left early to get on a plane and fly to see his mom, sister, and niece and nephews. They'll only be gone for a few days.

I am actually looking forward to the time I will have with Owl one-on-one, something she's never had. I wonder what she will think when she doesn't have to share me! I wonder if she will miss her sister, or just think it is all one long day with lots of naps and sissy is still at preschool. I know she will miss her daddy. She delights in the moment he comes home and would push me over just to get to him, yelling "Dada!" 13 months old and totally wrapped around his finger, I know he will miss her too.

Early this morning I woke up to Gorillaman beginning to stir and move about. At some point in the night Squirrel had come to our bed. I felt for her and pulled her close, her big body curling into a familiar spot in my side, her head resting softly on my breast. And I choked back a sob thinking that this would be the first time we've been parted for so long, so far away. Three and a half years old and going on another great adventure.

As I held her, I remembered being on the receiving end of that very same snuggle. I have very strong memories of my mother cradling me on one side and my brother on the other. She always smelled good and was warm and soft. I always felt safe there. I can still hear her voice as she sang us songs to go to sleep. Those are the same songs that I sing and hum to my children as I cradle them into the similar curve of my body.

So, this morning I held my sleeping girl, her sister on the other side. And I felt deeply connected with the generations of mothers past who have stolen moments to hold their babies for so short a time. The lump in my throat has yet to fade.

I have heard sneering voices whisper to me that she'll never walk if I don't put her down. She'll never sleep in her own bed. She'll never wean. You're making her clingy. Well, she runs! She sleeps well anywhere. She weaned and now her favorite food is purple cabbage. And she's going with her daddy on a brave new adventure so many states away, without me. Never doubt that this little person who sings (and dances to!) Gangnam Style and has giant feet will always be my baby, but she is fiercely independent. There is nothing wrong with holding your baby.

She woke up with a smile on her face, as usual. She excitedly talked in her deep, sleepy voice about all the things she was going to tell her cousins. She hugged and kissed her puppy, our 1 year old English Bulldog, who wiggled with delight. She giggled while Gorillaman said a prayer for everyone's safety with a roll in her mouth, leaving little crumbs at her feet. She gave me a hug and a kiss... and then she was gone. A little part of my heart went with her.

I will miss this little person who incessantly talks, or sings, or screams at her sister. I will really miss her. Sunday can't come soon enough.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

This year I am trying not to put too much on my plate. In past years I have felt overwhelmed, then disappointed, when I have so much planned to do and then don't get to all of it. I am definitely giving myself the space to enjoy this season. It's especially rewarding and sort of zen. 

Here in the Monkey House, Christmas preparations are underway. This is really the first year that Squirrel Monkey can help with making cookies and building ornaments and coloring pictures for family members. It's really very exciting to be discovering all of this with her. 

Here are her first ornaments. Just a couple of old fashioned clothespins we found at Michael's Craft. She painted them brown then I helped her hot glue the rest. These are going to find a special home with some of our family members this year. :)

We had fun doing the Christmas Stroll in our tiny town (of 800 people!) Here we are asking Santa and Mrs. Claus for a pony, but not like Applejack because she already has Applejack, and Twilight Sparkle, she has that one too. Lol! Squirrel really loved going on the horse-drawn carriage. At the end of the night she got over-stimulated and had a complete screaming meltdown over a bowl of chili. We need to remember to watch for the signs of her getting this way so that we can head home before it happens next time. We have always been pretty good about understanding her sensitivities. But that night we missed the window. Later, at home, she told us it was too loud, too bright, and too many people. Lesson learned.

We tried a new recipe for our Christmas cookies using cake mix - and my Grandmother's antique cookie cutters! So easy even Squirrel (3.5 years old) could do it almost by herself. Just a little bit of help cracking the eggs and measuring the butter and she was set. Oh, she also needed a little help transferring the cut cookies to the sheet pan. We found this recipe on Pinterest... of course! Follow me!

The recipe comes from GoodenessGracious.com The post is here. They were delicious and beautiful, easy to make, and give you lots of options for flavors. Pictured above is "Party Rainbow Chip" flavor. We found that cake mixes have shrunk, by as much as 3 ounces since the original recipe was made. So we needed to add about a cup of flour to cut down on the stickiness. I also didn't add any vanilla to mine and they taste great without it. These are the best cookie cutter cookies I have ever made (and I'm not a great baker so that's not saying much!) But they are so good it makes it seem like I'm an awesome baker! They barely spread and hold their shape well. And you only need four ingredients; cake mix of your choice (so far we have made and loved cherry chip, party rainbow chip, and yellow), 1/2 cup of butter, two eggs, and some flour. Make sure you follow the advice to refrigerate for at least an hour before cutting. I do plan to ice them. Know any good royal icing recipes? :) Then we're going to hand them out to our local friends and acquaintances, Squirrel's teacher's, etc. Tonight we plan to make the lemon ones at the bottom of that post. I'm so excited to try those. 

Making cookies with the girls, putting up our tiny 3 foot tree, starting new traditions like the paper chain advent calendar... all these things are helping us all to enjoy this season together with as little stress as possible. 

I'll leave you today with a little spiritual thought...

"The real Christmas comes to him who has taken Christ into his life as a moving, dynamic, vitalizing force. The real spirit of Christmas lies in the life and mission of the Master...

"If you desire to find the true spirit of Christmas and partake of the sweetness of it, let me make this suggestion to you. During the hurry of the festive occasion of this Christmas season, find time to turn your heart to God. Perhaps in the quiet hours, and in a quiet place, and on your knees - alone or with loved ones - give thanks for the good things that have come to you, and ask that His Spirit might dwell in you as you earnestly strive to serve Him and keep His commandments" (Howard W. Hunter, "The Real Christmas," Ensign, Dec 2005, 22-25).

And happy 12/12/12!

~MMM

Deck the Halls!

Well, Thanksgiving is over. I managed to not gain any weight. Woo! We spent Thanksgiving at a friend's house, which meant that all I was in charge of cooking was the turkey, my famous totally-delicious-but-totally-bad-for-you-mac-n-cheese, and my stepmom's glorious three bean salad. Everything on the table was SO good and I stuffed myself silly. Then we braved Black Friday and went to a few stores to get a jump on Christmas shopping. It was insane... especially with two kids under 4. Mostly, we ended up just buying things online. Remember to shop from small business and buy handmade as much as you can this year. Do what you can for the economy and help the little guy this year!

Now that we've passed this holiday, we're on to the next one! My favorite...

Christmas!

We lost most of our decorations in the flood that filled our basement with 3 feet of water. Luckily we haven't accumulated much yet since we have only been together for 4 years. But, so that Squirrel Monkey could take part this year, I made a tree out of foam sheets that she could decorate by herself. She's having a blast starting and stopping when she pleases, slowly turning the bare tree into a festive decoration!

Also, this year, we started a new tradition of an advent paper chain. Each day has an activity to get us in the Christmas Spirit. I included activities such as, bake cookies, get family packages and cards together and send, color a Christmas picture, drink hot chocolate, watch a Christmas movie, wrap presents, drive around and look at lights, make Christmas decorations, call Grandparents and sing a Christmas song, do a random act of kindness, etc. I love this idea. We'll keep reporting on how it's going as we work through the days. Squirrel is super excited!

This is a little off topic for this post, but I made some boiled eggs to go with our dinner tonight and upon seeing this on my counter I had to snap a picture. Aren't they beautiful? I'm awfully thankful for friends with too many eggs from their lovely chickens. Nothing like free-range and local! :) And there's truly nothing like having friends who share their bounty. That speckled egg in the middle is just gorgeous!!

~MMM

Snow Life Like This Life

Here in Northern Montana we got about 2 feet of snow this week. We have all had colds, some puking from the littlest Monkey, sinus infections, and general all-around uckiness. As I get better, I will start posting more. As a mom, right now I am tied down by an aggressively-snuggly preschooler, an ever-nursing baby, and a pitifully under-appreciated hubby. I'm ready for life to get back to abnormal!

~MMM